Nursing--where my heart is. :)

Oh well, I haven't realized how fast time flies. It's already been, two weeks and I wasn't able to update my blog. Now i'm starting to feel the real feeling of being a 3rd year nursing student in college. 3rd year life is what they say "the most challenging, tiring, but definitely the most fun" year in college--now I'm starting to see why. :P

Taking up nursing isn't easy. Aside from having to memorize lots of information: normal values, signs and symptoms of diseases, drug names and infos, not to mention their actions and interactions in the body and many other concepts ,I also have to deal with my fear of blood. yikes! But still, I looove being a student nurse--a soon to be nurse. =) It's always an overwhelming feeling seeing other people smile because they know that there is someone who is willing to help them in the course of their sickness, whenever I see a patient get well and go out of the hospital, it makes me happy knowing that even for a tiny bit, I've actually made a difference in someone's life. :)

As the saying goes, " Nursing is all about caring. But it takes more than caring to learn how to be a nurse. "  :)

Last week, I've been assigned in the Operating room for two days. (boy, it was tiriiiiiing. ) It made me realize how taking a sit even for just a few minutes feels soooo good. :) Laerning how to be a good nurse is never easy. You have to be mentally as well as physically prepared for changing environments. You can't just quit  if you feel like it. You take your lessons and studies by heart and you'll realize that despite the fact that it is tiring,  you'll enjoy it. :)  As for me, I'll do my best to learn how to be a good nurse in the future. Someday, somehow, I'll  happy knowing that I've made a difference in one's life. :)

Nurses may not be angels. But they are the next best thing. :)

Wasted emotions.

"What goes around, comes around. " --If you want good karma, live your life according to Dharma.

But from how I see it, maybe you don't even believe in such things. Pathetic.>_< I won't listen to you anymore, nor will I believe anything you'd say or do.

Liars will always be liars.You don't have to pretend anymore, don't get caught up with your own lies, I've already figured it out.

You guys are so good at pretending, you were able to fool me, not just once, but twice.

But twice is too much already. Get a life. You don't have any space in my life anymore. nor in my memories. All of you are starting to be like just a fading light that will soon fade away in the distance. Go to those people who you consider as important. Afterall, they're more valuable to you.

Why do some would pretend like they care for you from the bottom of their hearts but then after you turn around even for just a split second, everything changes-- you're their laughing stock, someone they bluntly mock at in front of others. damn!

Pathetic people. Great pretenders.

With all of their b****h***. (Sorry for the term. I just feel frustrated with what I've learned. I just thought...

Oh well. I guess I was wrong.  >_<)

Sure, you'd come near me and pretend as if you're one of the best comforters I know, --don't do that anymore, I'm not that stupid for me not to figure out that little evil scheme of yours.

You just wait and see.

Someday.

Someday...

Wishes, and a dose of reality.

Starlight. Starbright. Wish I may. Wish I might. (Hope you'll fulfill my wish tonight!)

-Sounds childish, but somehow, in a little part of us, there can always be a tiny place in our self that we can consider a child at heart. :)

Hmm. Have you ever felt liking or wanting s certsin thing with all your heart? It may be a thing or a person--doesn't matter, as long as you really wish to have it with all your heart? Have you ever felt that way to something even for once?

I can't say that I haven't because at some point in my life, I know that I had.

Its as if a certain desire is fueled up suddenly inside you.

Like the lighting of a fire. Once it is ignited, the fire will keep on burning- that is, as long as you want it to--if you so desired.

Isn't it an exciting feeling? The sudden skip of a heartbeat, you crossing your fingers for the best of luck, or maybe having an *induced* tachycardia. :D (sorry, its just a term of mine, induced tachycardia. :D like when you suddenly feel giddy and kilig all over). The more you feeel the desire fueled up inside you, the more you are motivated to achieve/get/have that "SOMETHING".

Maybe it can be a long-lost dream, a material thing that you've always wanted, a past love that you couldn't quite forget and so you take your second/third/fourth chance, or maybe its just something that you want yourself to have-- a simple token perhaps; but what you consider as something worth having in your life.

The road to get that SOMETHING that you wish to have/achieve is not always an easy one. You would face trials and faiilures that would test how far you are willing to go to achieve and acquire that thing that your heart truly desires.

At times, you'd feel like giving up; that what you want is unreachable and what you want is nothing but a dream that would lead you nowhere. BUT EVEN IF IF YOU ARE FACED WITH THESE CHALLENGES, DON'T GIVE UP.

NEVER EVER GIVE UP.

You just have to take an active risk. Don't be like other people who'd give up easily because they wouldn't want any change in the world that they've grown used to.

At times, yes, you may fail. But it doesn't mean that it ends there. It is only a part of the journey of getting there and getting it right. Its not on whether how many times you'd fall down, but on how many times you get up and try harder. Don't be afraid. Take that risk. Bear your scars as if they are medals--worthy to be proud of. :)

There's nothing more satisfying than getting what you really want thru your hardships and perseverance. :) At least, in the end, even if you can't get it, you won't have any regrets, you can tell yourself that at the very least, you have given your best shot at it and have done what you can.

Always bear in mind, that there is nothing impossible as ling as we wish it with all our hearts and do everything that we can to achieve it. :)

Doing your best at everything that you do will always make you happy, trust me. :)

It's all the same with lies.

It starts with little white lies. Then comes the occasional lies. What's next? Full blown lies?

White lies. Occasional lies. Full blown lies. It doesn't make any difference. whatever you call them, they are still LIES.

The common thinking, "What they don't know won't hurt them," and "What the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve over. " is a lame excuse. It only makes you more of a coward. Why can't you just come out in the open and be honest to what you know, how you feel, what you did, or whatever area in your life where truth is to be told? Telling the truth won't hurt. Don't you ever feel guilty every time you tell them your little lies?

Beware. There's also a saying: " A single lie discovered is enough to create a contagious doubt over any other truth expressed. "  Once you've been found out. Dang. No turning backs. You can make your excuses, but there's already the TAMPERED TRUST. Despite the fact that you have been forgiven by the one you've lied to and eventually have forgotten what happened, you cannot deny the fact that things might never be the same again.

True, you guys can talk, hang out, but you know and feel that something has changed and it could never bring back what it was like when their trust on you was still intact.

Forgiveness, yes, it can be given immediately but to earn back the tampered trust? NOT SO EASY.

In the first place, getting to know someone and earning their trust is not something you earn right away. You have to earn every ounce of it.  What more with tampered trust?

YOU HAVE TO WORK TWICE OR EVEN THRICE AS MUCH TO PROVE THAT YOU ARE WORTHY OF THEIR TRUST--TO BE TRUSTED. AGAIN.

So, you want these things to happen? Go on. Continue lying. And eventually, you'll be labeled as nothing but a LIAR. You wouldn't want it right?

Just remember this, lies are like poison. The more you use it, the more it will torment you inside.

What to do then? SIMPLE.

Just be true to yourself. Be true to whatever you would say, do feel, and act.

It wouldn't hurt you to say what you really wanted to say, do, feel, and act. :)

My First Delivery Room Case

Finally, with still shaking hands, I had my first actual deliveryy experience at the delivery room tonight! I was assigned on the delivery room with the 3-11pm shift, when I arrived there, there were some patients waiting but all of them were CS patients, we still had to wait who are for normal delivery. I thought I would never get the chance (again) to assist an actual delivery, but then, tadaaaa. At more or less 10pm tonight, I was able to assist in one. Thank you Lord the delivery was successful! :) It's really an overwhelming and happy feeling that I'm able to experience assisting a delivery! :)

I want to thank my midwife groupmates for the encouragement and tips that you told me, its really been great help, (especially I still have not overcomed my hemophobia. I really appreciate your words. :) ) And also to my partner/ partner-in-crime. :P (hehe) Erika for your patience. :D

I know I still have more to learn and skills to master but today is a great start and motivation to do better in the days yet to come. :)

I'll just share with you a quote I found over the net, :)

"Attending births is like growing roses. You have to marvel at the ones that just open up and bloom at the first kiss of the sun but you wouldn't dream of pulling open the petals of the tightly closed buds and forcing them to blossom to your time line." Gloria Lemay

So, I'm off for now! :) I still have my duty tomorrow, same time, same area. :)

Have a great day!

A message for the heavens above.

.

JULY 3.
A date I will always remember. Three years ago, it was the date that came without warning. a day that changed our lives forever.

I suddenly missed you ate Len. :( I know I shouldn't think of you most of the time so as not to disturb you in heaven, but there were times that you would appear in my dreams, those dreams seemed so real: you were there with us, laughing, smiling, playing and talking with us--so close, yet so far; I can see your smiling face yet its as if when I try to reach out or touch your hands, I can't, its as if I was contented then just with your presence, even a glimpse of you in my dreams every once in a while is enough for me.

Those dreams that I can remember were just like the times when you were still with us, always happy. Laging masaya pag kasama ka, feel at home ako lagi anytime, anywhere, basta anjan ka ate.
If only i could direct my dreams then and there, I'll hug you tight for a looooong time. But sadly, dreams are just dreams, I can't direct it the way I want because it wouldn't be a dream anymore, but just imagination. But still, I'm thankful for those once in a while dreams, I'm able to see you even for a few hours. But then, when I;m on the edge of believing that your presence in my dreams is not just an illusion, reality would sink in and I would wake up, just like every other morning and you won't be here anymore---it just makes me miss you more. :( I guess I'll just have to wait when you would again appear in my dreams. :/

Namimiss na kita ate len. :( I know that you're happy now up there in heaven, iniisip ko nalang pag minsan nasa abroad ka lang far far away from here and someday, somehow, we'll meet again.

You're already an angel up there in heaven and that you're watching over us, I just wanted to share how much i miss you, my ate, my confidante, my playmate, my cousin, my bestfriend, my role model as I was growing up, who always listens to my stories, gives me advices, someone who never cease to put a smile to my face, my ate len. :(

I miss you very much ate Len :( You'll always be in our mind and in our hearts. I love you!

Love,
Sandra