Despite the fact that you have forgiven someone and eventually have forgotten what happened between the two of you, you couldn’t deny the fact that things will never be the same again. True, the two of you can talk, and hang out, but you know and feel that something has changed and that it could never bring back the past nor can it bring back how close you two were before.

Be careful fo what you do and say because once something has been said and done, it is impossible to return everything back to normal.

-Anonymous

Letters to Self: Journey to being a Good Nurse

___________________________________________________

  A/N: Hmm. This came as something I didn’t even anticipate writing. It just came to my mind.

I am still a student alright. I don’t mean anything harsh or negative by this. My point is that, we can help in making the world a little better than we found it if we start by making small changes within ourselves.

It just came as a realization to me. I just wanted to share. Actually, I feel like it’s actually a letter I did for myself. To act as a constant reminder to me: that every minute counts and that I shouldn’t be putting off things that are important. I don’t mean that I take studying for granted, I do study hard, but like any other normal student, there are times when things I have/ought to do would slip behind schedule, but not always.

Honestly, I also see myself as someone who constantly needs improvement. Yah we always think that way. Of course, the biggest room in the house is always for improvement, for the better, that is.

Fr: On Second thought…

To: Myself actually. (But can also be for those who can relate to this. )

Dear ________,

You’ve got to start reading. Not later. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Sure, studying can be put off for later, you can finish your college life by just merely meeting the standards of mediocrity. You can graduate with just an “ok” grade. But would you not regret things that could have been if you’ve tried a little harder? If you put on an extra effort, you know that you can do better.

You can’t say that you’ll help in changing the world if you don’t even make an effort to change yourself, right?

You promised you’ve been planning to review your subjects but when really was the last time that you’ve actually read and re-read your notes? Last week? Last month?

Don’t blame any external factors if weren’t able to answer your professor or your graded recitation; or if you weren’t able to pass your term paper on time. You say it’s because there’s little time for you to review or because of the fast and boring lecturer last week, or because you can’t keep yourself from logging on to your favorite social site (Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, MySpace or whatever site that keeps you from doing that homework) or because of your favorite drama that kept you from doing what you ought to do.

You have the tendency to blame others but can you just stop for a little while and think again?

Haven’t you got any part and fault in that also?

You are the one responsible for your actions but why do you point out on others?

If only you’ve read your lessons that night. If only you’ve listened to your teacher explaining. If only you’ve ignored the gossip of your seatmate and concentrated more on the discussion. If only you’ve tried a little harder and made an extra effort. If only…

So many ifs. So many could-have-beens and would-have-beens.

Think of this scenario if you would keep on doing that..

Are you just going to wait until its only a month before the board exams before you start to actually study and indulge yourself to what you are reading?

You cannot cover so much to study on short notice. You can freak out, feel depressed or feel nothing at all then. But you can NEVER back out nor turn back lost time. You can’t waste your 4-year hardships just because you think that you are not prepared, nor you haven’t had enough time to prepare and study for it.

THAT is a very lame excuse.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

The making of nurse does not start 3-4 months before the board exam. It starts from your realization that you want to enter the realm of nursing. It then continues the moment you set foot on your chosen university until the moment your professor starts with their first lesson. It continues your very last one year in college.

So why nag that a 3-month review is too short a preparation when in reality the review and preparation started way too long ago? You probably were just too preoccupied and claimed that you were too busy to notice that time flies quickly not realizing the importance of every second.

Professors keep on reminding students to read. Read. Read. Read. That’s all. Because they care for you. They want what’s best for you. They know and see that you’ve got the potentials inside you. They know you can do better. It’s just that, sometimes, you tend to do unnecessary things and take the more important things for granted.

You say there’s always tomorrow.

You say you can always do things later.

But what if suddenly there’s no tomorrow?

How can you be so confident on tomorrow if you don’t even know if there’s still tomorrow for you? You can only assume. But you can NEVER be so sure of it.

What you have to do is to exert our freakin’ best today. For what tomorrow will bring to us are only the products of what we do today. Nothing more. Nothing less.

So do what you can do today. Or you’ll regret later.

The making of a nurse is not an overnight process nor is it a piece of cake.

It is a tiring journey and you constantly have to motivate yourself to keep going forward.

It only takes a matter of balance and time management on what you are doing.

Being a nurse is never easy. But throughout the journey, even with the hardships (the sleepless nights, stressful duties and the like), you get the prize of fulfillment that if you study hard and become a successful nurse someday, you can surely make a difference in someone’s life..

Nurses may not be angels. But they are one of the next best thing in life.

Sincerely,

xoxo D

Soo, gotta go for now. Have to study for the exams tomorrow. I’ll just post after the exams. D

Believe--and everything else follows.

Nothing is impossible as long as we wish it with all heart, believe in ourselves and trdut in the power of dreams.

It is true that we should be aware first of what our personal calling is. Each one of us has his/her own destiny to fulfill and a path that we should or ought to take. However, only afew of us choose to follow that road because of certain hindrances. What are these hindrances? According to the story The Alchemist, (which is, by the way, another favorite book of mine, tells us a fable about following our dreams) people tend to turn their backs or forget about their dreams not because that dream is not worth fighting for, but rather, because there is somewhat a series of obstacles that hinders them:

1. First, we are taught from childhood that everything we want to do is impossible, that’s why even if we wanted to do something, something pulls us back, telling us that it might not work after all; and thus, we are hindered by this misleading fact.

2. LOVE.

If we pass the first obstacle in fulfilling our dreams, then comes love. Even if we know and came to realize what we really want to do, we tend to become afraid of hurting the ones we love by leaving them to continue our search/ searching for and going after our dreams that is why sometimes, people give up easily. They give up easily and play safe just so they can stay by their loved ones’ side which I think is wrong.

After reading the novel, I learned and realized that LOVE should not, and should NEVER be an obstacle; but instead, we should consider it as an encouragement, an inspiration, an impetus, not something that will stop us from continuing forward.

*Take for example one character in that story, Fatima. She loves Santiago but them she didn’t stop him from continuing his journey to the pyramids of Egypt and told him that she will wait for him until he gets back. She didn’t stop him nor make him choose between her and going to Egypt. It shows us that those people who genuinely love us wants us to be happy and are willing to accompany us in our life-long journey. Yes, it might be a little hard to both parties that they have to be apart from each other, but that doesn’t mean that its the end. Its just that, they will go their separate ways for a while so that they can grow as a person. People who genuinely love us are by means willing to do that, why? SIMPLE. Because they love us and want the best for us.

3. Fear.

Third is fear. The novel points out that not everyone resolves to attain their special destiny because it takes every ounce of COURAGE that you’ve have and also PERSISTENCE. I know that the path toward our dreams is not an easy path nor a bed of roses. It is strewn with rocks of uncertainty and thorns of failure, but we should not be afraid to take risks and try new things and alternatives. Think of it this way, why be afraid of doing something and failing when you are not even sure if you’ll fail, right?

You only have one life to live so why not do it the way you want it to and experience the things that you never thought would actually happen? Only through that, will you become a better and more mature person than you already are. All you need to have is the determination to get what we we want and be undeterred; surely, we are to taste sweet success of gaining your heart’s desire.

4. And the last obstacle that we have to face is the fear of realizing that we have wanted all our lives.

Sometimes, we feel that once we get what we really want, we start to think that we don’t deserve it. Why? It’s because we are having a feeling of guilt for those people around us who failed to get the same dream and failed to get what they also want all their lives and we start to think that we don’t deserve to get what we want either, which is wrong. Each and every one of us is unique in his/her own way so each of us have different strategies to get what we want. The only difference is that, we were able to reach and attain our dreams first, for me, I believe everything happens in their own time, when the timing is perfect, when the timing is right. Maybe it’s still not the time for them to reach their dreams, maybe today is yours, but one thing is for sure, they too, will reach and fulfill their dreams in the right time that’s why we should not be feeling guilty for others. We should be confident that we have given our best to get that certain thing that’s why we are able to do so. God loves us very much that He wants what’s best for us that’s why He gives it to us in His own time.

(Photos are not mine. Photo credits to the owner..)

Memories are priceless.

                               This is a line from a a character I once read in the novel Tuesdays with Morrie, ( yeah, I know I’ve been using the ideas I learned from that book often nowadays, but what can I say, I really learned a lot from reading it. ), ” So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem to be half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote your time in creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”

I know this might sound a little farfetched but lets just say, over the years, our generation made progress not only in technology but also in every aspect of life wwhch makes our daily livin more comfortable than the way it was before. But of course. it these changes brought consequences that we have to deal with, that we have to go with the flow, so they say; it makes us feel good and feel that we are “in” and up-to-date but before we even become aware of it, if we always depend on such things, there will come a point wherein we will be totally dependent on such, more or less making us slaves. Even if we accept it or not, we are slowly changing, becoming more and more dependent on material things, wanting more and asking for more. Why do we tend to do this? I think its because, sometimes, there’s this little voice at the backof our head saying that if we didn’t go with the flow, it will look like we’re an outsider, someone who doesn’t belong, someone ignorant.

I don’t actually mean to say that we should hate these changes nor hate these material things that are all the while changing. All I’m saying is that, we just don’t need to be too attached or something to material things.

What’s the purpose and use of patronizing things that are never meant to last? Its practically useless getting yourselves too attached on material things. Things get broken, they disappear, they don’t actually last forever. We can’t bring them when we die, only our deeds and memories will be left as our legacy here on earth. People will remember you for your attitude and how you made them feel, not on how many cars nor the houses you might have had or the dresses that you wore on parties.

So why waste our time, effort and energy in getting yourselves too attached on such things? I think what is more important—–the relationship we have with the people around us and the works/deeds that we do in our daily lives that make our life worth living for.

Instead of indulging ourselves in acquiring things that can never last forever, why not reach out to someone you haven’t talked in a while and reconnect? Why not develop a more meaningful relationship with the ones you care about? I think, these are the things that should be given more importance. Afterall, memories are PRICELESS.

Love or Perish.

I remember this as I was reading a favorite book of mine, the world renowned book from Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie. This was a favorite quote of his teacher, Morrie Shwartz from his favorite author, W.H Auden. The thought of the quote struck me and gave me something to think and ponder about about.

He (Morrie) thinks that, “an abundance of love and compassion is the highest sense of fulfillment that one can experience and love is the essence of every human being.” He also said that without love, there is a void that can be filled only with loving other people; and to live a life without love is nothing” –I believe in that.  I really admire his way of thinking.

Just being able to live and enjoy life everyday is already a big thing to be thankful for; not everyone in this world has the opportunity to spend life exactly the way he wants it to snd its not everyday that someone has the opportunity to say goodbye to his family, pepare himself and live his life to the fullest before saying goodbye to his family that’s why the expression of love is very important.

Indeed, LOVE is an essential need for a human being, it brings meaning to our lives, whether we acknowledge it or not. It is the one that keeps us going, the one that motivates us when all else fails. Whenever we are about to give up on something we think could no longer work out, just think of those people who loves us, and surely, we would never ever quit. We would be motivated to strive harder, simply because they love us and they think that we can do it.

LOVE will never ever fail us. Even if one day, we think no one loves us anymore, stop and think again. There’s always GOD who will forever love us more than anyone else in this world so there’s no reason in quitting and giving up on anything.

__________

                There are times when we are caught in a dilemma that we don’t know whether to do this or that and because of this, we sometimes tend to make a decision abruptly just to show others that we can make a decision fast, and avoid the criticism of others, but in the end, we regret that decision. A certain thing hurts us yet we know it shouldn’t. Life is full of confusions and full of choices. There will come a point in our lives where we have to face an obstacle by ourselves, though we might find it difficult working on a plan or become trapped in a situation where we might get hurt or cause pain to other people, we always have to choose, to think twice or even a hundred times before taking an action, we always have to remember that HAPPINESS IS JUST A MATTER OF CHOICE.

Midori Days (Day 2: Two People's Feelings)

It's day 2. :)



Midori wakes up early the next morning to cook breakfast for Seiji while he’s still sleeping, completely forgetting that she’s attached to Seiji and drags him around the house. (Haha. :D Poor Seiji, he bumps his face on the way down--what a way to start the morning for him--=P)



When Midori opens the ref, she founds note from Seiji's sister telling him to drink the beer (looks to me like a threat. haha. :D ). She gets an egg to start cooking but  ha! it fell on Seiji's head! hahaha! :))



Midori seems to be pretty accustomedalready to being Seiji’s right hand as she helps him put on his right shoe and reminds him not to forget his things. (cute. :) )

As Seiji makes his way to school, Midori pops out with a brand new dress that she made which reads “I love Seiji”. :D She's pretty much proud of what she'd done--she' asks Seiji how does she look and Seiji looks pretty embarassed. Haha. (I'd say he's just shy as well as embarassed---beats me, I'll bet it's the first time he experienced having his name on a girl's t-shirt. XD) 

At school, a rumor had spread that Seiji injured his Devil’s Right Hand when he punched through an incoming Yakuza car. When he entered the classroom, we see that his seat is isolated from the rest of the class, his seat is right beside the window (his classmates probably put it there, to avoid him as much as possible)---he says nothing about this but I'm sure it's quite sad having minimal friends at school coz most of them are afraid of him and his "demon right hand".

Enter his classmate Ayase in the picture--when she enters the classroom, she butts in on two people talking about Seiji's right hand being injured and tells them just to ignore Seiji as she describes him as someone " who thinks beating up people somehow proves that he is a man" and tells him mean things in front of his face and everyone. (You just wait Ayase, soon enough you'd see Seiji's other side and definitely, he'd prove you wrong.  I'm really looking forward seeing your face when you realize how wrong you are in saying those things--I bet you might l in love with Seiji,too. :D) Seiji screamed at Miyahara for spreading such rumors which led to a minor confrontation between a Seiji and Ayase.

During recess, he's on the rooftop and guess who's mad about the current flow of things? Midori of course. :D  She complains on why his classmates would put his desk on the corner of the room like he's some beast and she's annoyed with Ayase. Just then, a group of delinquents from another school came trying to pick a fight with Seiji. Since he is unable to use his right hand, Seiji decides to avoid the delinquents. Ayase stepped up against the delinquents thinking she could handle them like how she handled Seiji earlier, but then one of the delinquents just slapped her and tried to drag her away. (That's for you being a meddler when you should've just stayed away. >_<)



Ayase's obviously shaken and afraid as she's dragged away by the delinquents, no one in the crowd tries to help her as they are afraid of the too. They were just about to reach the school gates when Seiji came to Ayase’s rescue.



Even if his right hand is technically not usable because of Midori, he beated all of them as Ayase stands there with guilt evident in her face. (Don't get me wrong wrong, I'm just annoyed with Ayase because of her earlier behavior, it seems to me like she  judges Seiji just because of the impression that he fights a lot and is a bully at school--without even bothering to know his other side. Maybe it's early for me to be annoyed with her, but still.... :D Maybe that'd change in the next episodes.. Heehee. =) )



When the fight's over, Ayase stammers something like "don't put it in your head--that she wasn't about to thank Seiji for the act" when Seiji cut her short, retorting not to flatter herself, he needed the excercise anyway. ( ha. Seiji sure knows how to retort on someone's nasty comment. Why can't she just thank him?XD I wonder.. :D)

After school, Seiji, depsite being injured by the encounter earlier, had planned to try going to Midori’s house again. They found a note in his locker telling him about the challenge, and found himself heading off to save Miyahara who was kidnapped by a bunch of delinquents.

As Ayase was going through the locker room, he notices some teared up paper lying in front of Seiji's locker and she picked it up, sensing trouble.

She saw what Seiji was up to and decided to chase up to give him a piece of her mind about fighting.

Seiji arrived at the designated place, but eventhough the gang started to beat him badly (poorr Seiji. :() he did not fight backwhich eventually bored them away. They untied Miyahara and left the scene.  When Miyahara asked why he didn’t fight back, Seiji replied that its so that the delinquents would no longer go to their school and bother anyone. Miyahara was so touched that he started crying and told Seiji how great a friend he is. Ayase overheard this and was touched. (See Ayase? :D Seiji is gooooood and has a soft spot in him. :) )

The next day, ayase moved her desk next to Seiji and explained her way through it. Haha. (I'll bet she's starting to like him. :P)

Seiji and Midori ended going to Midori’s mansion after school the next day. The maid was about to turn Seiji away again but Midori’s mother recognized Seiji from the many pictures Midori kept in her music box and invited him in. --------Turns out Midori’s real body was in a coma.

(Ohmo. Haha. If this happens in real life I'm sure I'll go nuts, hahahaha. Where'd you find somebody in a coma but turned out that the person in the coma is in you right hand?!? :D)

Seiji suggested that Midori try and make contact with her real body and see if she would return to normal, but when he pulled back the blanket they both realized that Midori’s real body wasn’t wearing any clothes. Both of them are embarrassed, Seiji closed his eyes and stretch his right arm out so Midori is range of her body.



As Midori bumps into her boobs, her mother and maid returned and saw what appears to be Seiji taking advantage of a comatose Midori. (Haha. What a great timing. =P) It's quite funny seeing how Seiji tried to explain himself, saying that he isn't a pervert and seeing an army of angry maids chasing after Seiji.

If there is someone who has uplifted your soul and made your day because of their simple words they have spoken to you today, let them know and thank them. :)

Because sometimes, its not the grandest things that matters. It's the small gestures of unspoken love and caring that do.

You'll never know, you might be the next angel in someone's life.

You'll probably make their day, too! :)

Before and After. (And the words left unspoken.)

Letters addressed to you that I can't start writing. Conversations left unspoken. Words hanging by the moment. A misunderstanding that is starting to form a loophole in our friendship. These are the things that come to my mind these past weeks. :( Things I should get done. Things I should do, to correct, to learn..

I don't want to make excuses nor cover up my own mistakes--I know I've been quite busy lately, but hey, even if we do hang out on our free time, we don't anymore talk like before, when we could almost talk about anything, everything. Even if we hang out--eat, and talk?--it only revolves around superficial things, ignoring what is the real issue, why we're starting to grow apart, what's worse--I can't do anything about it. :/

We want to talk to you. Seriously. To talk things over, why we (not only about you and me, but to our group as well) are starting to grow further apart.. I know this may sound a little emo-ish but I'd rather say these things than lose someone close to me because of ignoring things and not talking about it. (You are important to us and you know that. I hope we can really talk things over. Soon.)

Things change. People change. You changed. :/ We used to talk for hours and now I'm lucky to talk to you for a few minutes a day. What's worse, sometimes, those minutes are merely seconds, with only a few words spoken.  You used to want to be with me but now it seems like we're miles apart, even if it's just a few chairs between us. What happened? :( Is it our busy schedules? Or is it merely the fact that we're starting to grow apart?

I'll break the silence. Soon. (Please just give me the courage to do so. :x)

Definitely, I'll do something. I won't let our long friendship turn into the BEFORE and AFTER. :/

Midori Days (Day 1: Right Hand Girlfriend) :)

 

So this will be my first ever recap of an anime/manga. :D

Hope you guys will like this, though I think I'm not much of a recap person, I just want to share recaps from my favorite mangas/ animes that I've read, am reading, and will be reading. I won't make this introduction long. I'll start with Midori Days---this was aired I think when I was still in high school, but still, I love it all  the same--up until now. :D (Reminds me of a code name I used for someone. Haha. Ohwell. :D)

(A/N: All images and dialogues are owned by the author him/herself.)

Seiji Sawamura is the toughest student in his high school. His grades aren't very good because he fights more than he studies, but he tends to protect the weaker students from bullies. A few classmates idolize him; one (Midori Kasugano from a different school) shyly loves him from afar; but most are just afraid of him, which has made it impossible for him to find a girlfriend. In desperation, he says to himself that he will grow old with only his right hand as his companion — until one morning when he wakes up to find a living miniature of a girl in his right hand. TAKE NOTE:  not just any girl—Seiji's new appendage is none other than Midori! :)

 Will Seiji ever get his right hand back? More importantly, how will he carry out his daily activities? Will a love story blossom between these two completely different person? :)



Day 1: Right Hand Girlfriend

The first scene was of Midori at the train station, waiting for the train to arrive. And then we see her looking over at Seiji when the train arrives and he walks past her,, with her calling his name silently to herself.

We see Seiji in a secluded parking lot confronting a gang leader who holds his buddy as captive.. And ooof! the fight  begins between him and the gang members and of course, he wins, thanks to his "devil right hand". Awesome! (haha. yah right. :D Seiji gets to be the hero that he is. :P)

In the manga, there's this opening words from the the main character of the manga, Seiji Sawamura, talking to himself: What is it that every student needs in order to get through the grind of high school life? Is it sports? A good hobby? Those things are okay, but for me, there's something far more important--and that is---- a GIRLFRIEND. (:D)

We see him being rejected as he confesses his love for a girl. (Aww. Poor Seiji. :/)





And he is introduced as a character, a 17 year old junior high school student having no girlfriend for 17 years and 2 months to be exact. :D He also says that he has been turned down by girls 20 times straigh. Ouch. :D

 Its quite funny that everywhere he looks, he see couples anywhere--holding hands, smiling, with heart-shapes and doing couple-things. Haha.

He seems frustrated that up until now, he still doesn't have a girlfriend..

Just as he was being frustrated in his room for not having a girlfriend, a girl suddenly appeared on his right hand.

(Bwahaha! Talk about having a girl in your right hand sure would freak anyone out.:D)

Neither could come up with how Midori ended up as Seiji’s right hand. Midori then introduces herself as someone who's had a crush on him for the longest time,

 (It's quite adorable seeing Midori make an innocent confession and still manages to be cute at the same time, laughing to herself how she could even say those things. haha. :D)

                                          Seiji brought Midori to her place and was shocked at her huge mansion. Seiji rang the bell, pretending to be a friend of Midori but was quickly turned away by the maid, saying that the young mistress had left on urgent business.

Then, two girls claiming to be fans of Seiji approached his buddy aka bestfriend Miyahara. Miyahara,( excited much! :D hahaha. ) called seiji to tell him the good news---and Seiji went home that instant.

Seiji thought he hit the jackpot with the two girls that will be arriving soon--- he even invited the two girls in when they arrived, without Miyahara.  After a while, one of the girls asked to be excused to go to the washroom, and while the other girl distracted Seiji, the first girl tried to attack him from behind with a wooden sword. (Meanies! >_< )

Turns out that those girls are bitches, who are angry with Seiji because he beated up their boyfriends, and now they're seeking revenge.

Grr. >_< Those girls sure are nasty and meaaan!

Midori saw this and jumped out to block the attack, smashing the wooden sword in the process.

When Seiji realizes that its his right hand/ Midori that saved him from the hit, he ignores the girls momentarily and talks to his hand/Midori---but got no answer from her. Reality hit Seiji as he frantically tries to remove the bandage to see if Midori was ok, totally ignoring the two girls.

I love how he looks so worried because it shows that even though he's practically seen as a bully, he still has a soft spot in him. :)

Seiji was so worried and frustrated that he couldn't remove the bandage in his hands and see if Midori is alright so he picked up a knife, looking all scary, and scared the girls away. Seiji used the knife to remove the bandage and was glad that Midori was alright.

And.....

My favorite lines before the end of episode 1:

Remember when Seiji told Midori not to say a word and she promised she won't whatever happens? It's quite touching that even if Midori would get herself hurt for taking the hit, she didn't even say a single word. That's what made Seiji touched too. :) (Oh yeah. It's his first time feeling that someone---take note: a girl--shows a care for him and thus begins this conversation:

Midori: At least I kept my promise..

Seiji: Promise?

Midori: A word... I didn't say a word...

(The scene where Midori tells him that she's had a long-time crush on him flashes in his mind..)

Seiji: You know, I don't even know your name..

Midori: Midori. I'm Midori Kazukano.

Seiji: Look, Midori. From now on, if we're on a situation like that, you can break your promise. Speak up and let me know what's going on.

Midori: Uhm.. yeah...But what if somebody finds out?

Seiji: I don't care. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. No secret is worth keeping if it means somebody will get hurt especially a girl. Even if you're my right hand now, you're still a girl and I have to protect you. (Daaaaaang. :D )

Midori: (She's toooooched! :D Who wouldn't? haha.)  She squeals in delight and say "I LOOOOOOOVE YOU!!!" to Seiji. :)

And then we see Midori writing in her diary, summing up what happened for the day. :)

(Makes me remember my high school days, when I also kept a diary for 2 years, like what Midori is keeping track of---her moments with her crush. Haha. :D Now that I remember it, it just makes me laugh and smile, knowing how I used to get kilig easily. XD)

Ohwell. Done with episode 1! :)